Last night my daughter, Bethany Sara, called to ask me a question.

The Happy Couple

And in typical Gen-X style, she sent me a text message first asking me to call when I had a chance; that she had a question to ask me about the wedding. She and David, pictured on the right, are getting married outdoors on the grounds of a nearby winery in July.

Of course I called right away. She asked me to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day.  You might think this a forgone conclusion for most dads and daughters, but in our case it was different.

Having not lived with me since she was 4, Bethany grew up with another father-figure in her life. Although I had her in my home every other weekend, as divorce custody arrangements dictated, it wasn’t the same as being there full time.

Mike is Bethany’s step-dad and her mother’s husband of fifteen years. As a provider and stand-in father, Bethany and her brother couldn’t have asked for a better man.  Intensely private and dedicated to protecting his family, Mike and I have more in common than perhaps either of us is willing to admit.

The relationship between Mike and I has evolved over the years from near adversaries in the early years to what has become, I believe, a mutual acceptance of the other’s role in our often strange but wonderful family dynamic.  Playing the role of the ‘Ex’ has never been easy and, very often, it’s been an intense struggle. But conversations like the one last night can right a thousand wrongs even if, thankfully, the wrongs are my own.

Bethany proposed the idea of both Mike and I walking her down the aisle and my heart broke open in manner that only another daughter’s father can appreciate. I became a blubbering mass ( and that is the most accurate term) and sobbed into my Blackberry.  We talked for nearly 90 minutes about life, love, and our relationship.  Walking Bethany down the aisle together with her step-dad is both fitting and appropriate.

For my part, I have no doubt that I will descend into the same blubbering mass on her wedding day. How can I not?  It’s a bittersweet time in the life of any parent.  Watching my daughter grow away from me is hard no matter what anyone says.  Even the bravest face fails to hide the underlying steadfast love and intense emotion we parents continually feel for our children.

From infancy she’s been my Princess; my only daughter, and that, along with my boundless love for her, will never change.

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