I’m not a strong person - at least not where physical strength is concerned. Sure, I’d love to be more fit with major muscle groups like my pectorals, triceps, and quadriceps more defined. And not just for the physical aspect of it, but for the body strength and vitality I believe would accompany it.
But this post isn’t about physical strength. It’s about something more - a deeper kind of strength - a core, psychological strength that looks over the edge of time and asks, ‘What’s next?’
I have survived some situations that would some would claim were only possible because of some internal strength within. Some would say that God was looking out for me. Some would contend I was in the right place at the wrong time.
I might say it was just dumb luck. 
Survival is often a matter of luck. Why does one person survive a 200-foot tumble down a mountainside while another dies falling from a 6-foot ladder? Why does one person succumb to a head-on traffic collision while his passenger walks away unharmed?
Luck? Kismet? Synchronicity? Some heavenly purpose yet unfulfilled? Who knows.
I survived ten years of intermittent physical abuse by a loved one. I’ve survived a direct blow to my forehead with a Louisville Slugger at age nine, bacterial encephalitis at twelve and a freak building collapse in San Francisco around age 30.
I’ve come to embrace the concept of resiliency over strength as a way of explaining my ability to not allow any of these events defeat my life progress. None of these events were easy to survive; some were quite painful, and all required a rare kind of strength.
But while strength infers a certain amount of stability, it’s also a static state. It’s defensive in nature.
Resilience is what you find on the other side of strength. Resilience infers a response to the forces that strength merely withstands. It’s what strength dreams of at night.
It takes into account the assaults of negative circumstances and responds, ‘That’s not all.’
How does resilience manifest? It combines love, firmness of resolve, focus and optimism and provides what I call, Life Follow-Through.
Recently while having my hair cut in a local shop, my stylist and I touched on the topic of resiliency. After a brief encounter with a malignancy she emerged from the experience a stronger, more optimistic person. Her treatment was something she simply fit into her schedule.
“As I told my 14 year-old daughter,” she said “Life doesn’t stop just because circumstances aren’t what you planned.”
I believe that’s the singular point of difference between strength and resilience: Resilient people accommodate their challenges and work with them (sometimes without knowing it) to emerge a better person. A person with strength alone withstands the downturn in circumstances but focuses their energy on the fight. When the battle is over, they’re exhausted and must gather their strength for the next inevitable assault.
The resilient person fights the good fight also. They focus their energy on the outcome. For after the battle is over, there is peace to be dealt with and a plan for living to execute.
How do you become resilient? I’m not sure you can. I’m not a psychologist, and I’d not dare to prescribe a course of action.
All I know is that each day I live as if it were my last; at work I conduct my duties as if it were my last day prior to retirement, and, hopefully, I express my love to those closest to me in a way that doesn’t count on tomorrow.
Perhaps that’s what makes me resilient. Perhaps that is what my strength dreams of at night.
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