BarryMorris.net ~ Live More with Less

What Is It that You ‘Can’t Not-Do?’

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We often know early on what it is we enjoy the most. pc:pexels.com

Can’t-not-do: I know that sounds both funky, and like a double negative, and it is.

However, it’s also a useful way to express the concept of doing that which your DNA codes you to do; that activity that you cannot escape engaging. For me, writing and publishing are what my DNA codes me to do. It’s the one activity I can’t-not-do. It’s so basic a need that, next to breathing, it’s right up there with drinking coffee.

I’m thinking about this because a friend IM’d me a few days ago and we texted back and forth about his frustration with writing and publishing, a general lack of results, and how he was going to take a break.

I responded that writing and publishing were both something I was compelled to do each day. I further stated that these two activities aren’t driven by the results I see, but by the need to honor the drive inside me that compels me to create and publish.

What is it that your DNA wires you to do?

For digital business owners, this drive to serve others is often at the core of what I call our most meaningful work (MMW). It’s the work we cannot avoid if we are to be true to ourselves; it exists as a sacred calling that originates not with any deity but within our very genetic code.

I’ve known hundreds of coworkers, colleagues, and friends that rarely engage in their MMW. I find it a very sad reality that people spend their entire lives working and not enjoying the hell out of what they do all day.”

For decades I experimented with many forms of work and educated myself in many areas to find that which I couldn’t-not-do. Coming back to a realization I had at the age of nine is what finally got my attention. The state of flow and timelessness I experienced writing at age nine was the first time I knew what it was.

I then spent decades covering it up with careers in medicine and higher education only rarely touching on it. I’d experience glimpses into my MMW so-to-speak at times but the job, responsibilities of family, and economic realities dictated that I didn’t make changes.

Find something you care about and care deeply

This is the only career advice I’ve ever given my four adult children:

Find an activity that you’d do for free over and over and pursue it with every bit of your waking energy. It’s the only path that will guide you to what you can’t-not-do.”

If you’re in business, does your business allow you to express who you are? Does it feed your soul the way oxygen feeds your lungs? Does it touch on those visceral needs to make a contribution to others? Is it something you’d do for free over and over?

What is it that you can’t-not-do? Tell me about it in the comments.

The Biological Basis of Your Sacred Calling

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Your Sacred Calling – It’s Like a Hedgehog

I’ve been studying the concept of a ‘sacred calling’ for a while. About ten years ago I read the book, Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t,  by Jim Collins a Colorado-based business researcher. In this dense book, Collins postulated -among other things- something he termed, The Hedgehog Concept.

In short, the concept talked about the intersection of three circles, in a Venn diagram. As illustrated here, the shaded area represented the Hedgehog Concept for a business.

When I read this book, I started thinking about how to translate these ideas into the individual. How could a person find their secret sauce, so to speak, their sweet-spot, or their Hedgehog Concept?

Close, But Not the Same

Is that cute!

The sacred calling, like the hedgehog concept for a business, originates deep within us. It’s embedded in our DNA; It codes to do some tasks better than others. You might be a great singer or musically talented while your sibling is a math genius. We each have these specific areas that we can do better and more easily; they have a natural feel to us and we gravitate toward them.

But the sacred calling isn’t a particular talent or strength, it’s broader than that.

Your sacred calling is the overall sense of mission you have your life; and it isn’t always obvious.

Though experience, and over many years, I learned that it’s through teaching and writing that I can make life-changing contributions to others. For a long time, I was a college instructor. During those years I taught hundreds of students. Every so often I hear from one on Facebook or LinkedIn and they share how it was through my classes that they found their direction or motivation for pursuing a dream. I’m not trying to blow my own horn, but I think you can see that it’s through this kind of feedback that my sacred calling has been affirmed.

When I think about what these affirmations  point to and what drives my life, I come up with this: service to others. It’s the overall sense of mission that characterizes my life. It reflects what sparks joy within me and what leads to both my most meaningful work and my lifetime contributions.

Time to Look Within

In what I call The Celebration Exercise, imagine that you’re dead. I know, real cheery, right? Stay with me though.  

Imagine you’re a fly on the wall or an angel in the heavens and you’re somehow present when your friends gather to honor your memory at a celebration of life service. 

Far from being a sad affair, your friends are here to recall the happy times, the fun days and nights you spent together and the kind of person they think you really were.

Maybe they’re tossing back a few shots of Cuervo Gold tequila or Jameson Irish whiskey or -in my case- a few shots of Espresso Forte. Although they’re sad you’re gone, they’re equally happy and filled with gratitude because of the impact you made on their lives.

As speaker after speaker gets up to share how you made their life a better place, they keep returning to the qualities you were known for.

Without thinking, what are those qualities: Just say them out loud quickly, right now.  

For me, they’d be: compassion, helping out, encouragement, and love. 

Whatever those qualities are, what do they suggest as an action? If you look at mine, they suggest service to others. For me, they speak of serving others. Service to others is my sacred calling.

The Most Common Mistake

When thinking about your sacred calling, the most common mistake made is thinking that you don’t know it. In fact, you do know it, but it’s been covered over by life experiences, religious dogma, family expectations, and cultural influences. If you’re willing to do the work, you can gently sift through the layers of shit that life has piled on top of your sacred calling.

You might recall is this post, I told you about a time when I was about 10 years old and I knew in an instant that my sacred calling had to do with writing. But I was ten, and I didn’t register it me strongly enough in my heart and mind to follow it’s lead in my early adult years. It took decades for me to work through the layers of experience and expectations to find it again.

How I Found My Deepest Work

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And we dance, To a whispered voice;
Overheard by the soul, Undertook by the heart;
And you may know it, If you may know it

Neil Diamond, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Roles Help Us Find Ourselves

I’ve played many roles in my life: physician, professor, a college dean, a college president, a window washer, a retail store manager, consultant, and a guy who cleaned eyeglasses and hawked some lens anti-fog stuff…yes, many roles and obviously not in that order.

You probably have played several, too. There is nothing wrong with playing these roles. But like we do in perfecting our golf swing or crafting the perfect cup of coffee, hopefully…eventually…we find a sweet spot. We find that one type of role within which we could stay in character for the rest of our lives.

Roles help reveal what comes easily to us. On a deeper level, we call these traits, talents, and strengths. Over time we experiment with different roles to determine our interests. I see roles as hugely important because the results of these experiences ultimately inform us about our deepest work. 

The rest of this post is somewhat autobiographical. It discusses various phases in my life and the roles I played. It talks about the fractured process of discovering my strengths, talents, and ultimately, my deepest work and concludes with how you can avoid a similarly painful 40-year search for your deepest work. [Read more…] about How I Found My Deepest Work